Confessional

FYI: A Listing of Things Grown Men Wish You Understood

Men and women aren’t the most effective communicators when it comes to each other. Men moreso. We rather just ignore things than speak to it, but today on this glorious Sunday a group of men dare to do something different. We came up with a list for you the women around us. Hooray for communication!

 

1. Women without successful friendships with other women are red flags.
2. Sometimes a hello, is just a hello. Not every kindness should be taken as a statement of interest. Some men were raised right, go figure.
3. The worst moment in dating is when we realize why you’re single. This moment is even worse when we realize it mid-date and it’s too late to leave.
4. The best sex happens when you’re the most comfortable and relaxed. When you’re not trying to be sexy or sensual and you’re just you it takes things to a new level. Toss in some slight shit talking and you just may be onto something.
5. There’s a least one friend of yours we don’t like. The chronically single or bad relationship having one who likes to give you advice on how she thinks we should go. Yep, she sucks.
6. It still blows us when you don’t have any suggestions where you’d like to eat. Make a list of places you like and just toss one out every once and a while.
7. Waking up on the edge of the bed because you want to be close is cute, but selfish too.
8. After a certain point in the relationship, sex isn’t a gift (pretty early on if you want to be honest) anymore. If we were to just give you sex for a gift there’d be a side eye waiting. Be fair, especially if you wouldn’t accept dick in a box.
9. Women who have whole conversations with themselves via text because they haven’t gotten a response yet are bothersome. It comes off very needy and bored. We don’t have to respond to you immediately because you want it and writing more messages won’t inspire that to happen any faster.
10. I’m not here for your entertainment. Sure we can entertain you, but not be your dancing monkey.
11. A properly positioned thank you is a game changer. When and how you say thank you for basic behaviors pay off. Chivalry, while expected, is still something that deserves an earnest thank you.
12. Asking for food from a man’s plate is the kind thing to do. Grabbing food or passive aggressively hinting that you’d like some is not.
13. Quality time should be fair. We do what you like and then we switch to something you do. Pretty obvious, but hey some of you still don’t get it.
14. Men who are dating seriously are looking for a partnership, not a bill. The moment you become one we’ve already started phasing you out. If you think your conversation is a trade off for us paying for the date you missed the point. Be worth the investment by sharing your mind, spirit, and energy. You have conversations for free, so make your company worthwhile.
15. Space is a beautiful thing, and the best relationships allow people to have it when needed. When we don’t feel like being around you don’t take it personally, instead take the same time and enjoy it. Being around someone too much erodes the very thing that makes them appealing.
**This is an ongoing theme, so it’s only fair to offer a retort. Look out for the things Women wished Men knew.

My Hip Hop Foundations

Alright, we’ve reached the point where I feel I can start being honest and sharing a bit of insight into who I am and what kind of life I’ve lead. This confessional I promise you is going to be pretty revealing. Ready?

Here it goes. When it comes to my upbringing and what truly got me heavy into Rap/Hip Hop/or whatever hippy classification we’re giving it nowadays it wasn’t Tupac, Biggie, or any of the accepted greats that got me there. To me, The Diplomats, was it. Don’t get me wrong I take nothing away from Jay, Nas, Biggie, or Pac, but when I was coming up I didn’t appreciate them. Diplomatic Immunity was my first unfiltered view of rap and it hit me square in the chest. Shit, I’ll never forget watching the video over and over again of I Really Mean it/Dipset Anthem. The first Hip Hop line I learned was a Cam’ron verse. His flow was crazy to me, and still is to this day. Say what you want.

“I’m on the west side of Chicago looking for a bus down to make me put my two hands up, touchdown…”

Years later I still remember where I was when I heard DMX screaming What’s Really Good? on the coldest Coming to America fresh outta Zamunda track. That beat surprised me and from that moment on Dipset had me.

As I progressed from Dipset, during their fall out and disbanding, I started to appreciate other artists but again they got me there. Quick backstory, my parents are both preachers and with that came the censorship of anything over the top secular. Rap music was public enemy number one in my house and even the Walmart Censored versions were frowned upon. Any Rap album I had was bootlegged and came from shadow exchanges. I’d sneak to my basement and burn these albums in order to be hip to the game. The first album I got on loan from one of my boys, shoutout to Big H, Diplomatic Immunity. I Really Mean It to this day is one of my favorite songs and truly expect it to be played at my funeral as I’m wheeled out and lead down the street in my hearse (consider that a portion of my living will).

So there you have it, confessional number one. On everything if there’s ever a Dipset Reunion tour  don’t expect a post from me that week. But really, don’t expect it. I’m reliving the livest time in music. Catch me that next week though.

 

T.L.