How To Escape Your Sunken Place: Looking Up

Last week I promised that I would help plot a course out of the sunken place with you and we could leave it together. Well, here I am right next to you in my own sunken place and I’m ready to leave. This week for me has been like an episode of “Everybody Hates Chris” and of course I’m Chris. Maybe it’s been something similar for you, but either way I’m very glad it was a Pay Day last Friday. Despite the bills that have already scavenged my paycheck things are getting better so why not use that momentum to get us up?

When things get shitty it’s really easy to just sit there in the moment and pout, and sometimes that okay. Bad things happen and we need to process things in and do what we can to keep us sane. The problem is this is where most people get stuck. The sunken place in our lives is a constant. There will always be times when Life pulls us down, and it won’t ever stop. Sure the situations may be different, but it’s going to happen. People that focus only on the shit never remember that it helps flowers grow. So we have to look upwards. Looking around at all the shit that you have to deal with will only accomplish one thing; depressing the hell out of you.

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. It’s easy to say all of this, but much harder to practice when life seems like it’s falling apart. I agree with you completely. Millions of people carry on clichés and quotes telling us things like “Not all that wander are lost” ; “We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up”; “Keep calm and carry on” ; and the list goes on. Yes these statements are overused and perhaps dated but one thing that they’re not is false. I’ve learned the hard way that everything comes down to a single choice. Everything. Wallowing in self-pity: choice. Raging against the system declaring that you will change it: choice. Reacting to the shitty hand life gave you with complete apathy: also a choice. It’s all about the choice you want to make, so ultimately you have the power to change everything around you. So the first thing we have to do to get out of our sunken places is just make a choice and decide where we’re going to focus. We can look at the shitastic (yep, totally made up a word. Shakespeare did it , so I’m making the CHOICE to.) horizon, or decide that we want something better for ourselves and look up towards freedom.

Okay, full disclosure. Once we start looking up things aren’t likely to get better. Sure we’ve changed our perspective, but that alone won’t do it. Getting into a sunken place didn’t happen overnight like it did in Get Out it takes time to deal with the issues that landed you there. For me I landed here because I lost sight of myself and in turn properly fucked my finances in a vain attempt to build a man I didn’t want to be. I know that one check won’t fix my self worth, or my view on what’s important. It’s the same for most issues we experience. There’s no working easy button hidden in plain sight. Sometimes we have to “work work work work work” in the words of that Rihanna song (sorry if it gets stuck in your head, even months later that song is still catchy) and really touch on the root cause of our problems.

But in spite of all that, today we’re focusing on thing and that’s simply looking upwards. Making the choice to take control of your life is honestly the hardest step to make and once it’s made the world will change for you. When you believe something so adamantly our brains will find countless reasons for it to be true, quite literally changing how we see the world. So my sunken friend, why not use this for our favor?

Let’s take today to accept that shit has happened that we don’t like, and make the decision to turn our focus from the shit to the sky. Let’s take the day and focus instead on owning our shit because like the cliché says, “Life is what you make it.”

T.L. out.


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